[personal profile] janxangel
Despite that being actually true in a technical sense, I meant it more like the way "asshole" and "damn" are four letter words.

I hate the word diet, because it implies that you're doing something that's a chore. Something unpleasant to be endured and stopped as soon as possible. I think that attitude is what causes a lot of people to yo-yo with their weight.

I started myself on a plan to drop some pounds on Wednesday. I gave up on trying to figure out the massive layers of byzantine weight loss information and went back to the most basic of formulas: More calories out than you put in. To start with, I'm not worrying about an exercise routine. If I feel like it I will, but I'm not going to focus on it until I've been on my new eating plan for at least 2 weeks. Once the food is under control, the kinks worked out, (this morning I discovered that I MUST have some kind of starch in my breakfast otherwise my guts get very unhappy,) and a pattern established, THEN I can put more focus on exercise.

So right now I'm in the process of figuring out what I can eat and how much to stay within my daily calorie alotment. Since I'm not exercising, my goal is 1200 a day, with a restriction of 1450. Meaning I'm trying for 1200, but if I don't feel right, or just HAVE to have a little more or something, it's OK as long as I don't go over 1450. Once I start getting some activity in, (I bought a pump for my bike yesterday,)my goal will be 1200 net. Food - exercise = 1200.

This morning I think I went through the shifting of my body trying to still store the fat calories to actually starting to use them. I felt hot and miserable and tired, even after I ate. On my way to work my middle started to ache. I sometimes get an ache where my gallbladder used to be if I get hungry. So I ate the 100 calorie graham cracker pack I had stuffed in my bag to go with lunch. I felt better for about 20 minutes, leading me to my starch at breakfast conclusion, but then it came back with a vengeance. A few minutes of pacing around the office, sipping my water, and it finally stopped. Afterwards I've felt much better on the whole.

Actually I've felt better since making this decision. It wasn't one I made in a declarative fashion either. I just sort of kept thinking that I could do it, and I should, and really it can't be THAT hard right? For the first time I have a positive outlook on the whole thing. I'm not doing it to spite myself, I'm doing it to feel better. Not in the "oh wow I'm so happy!" way, but in the "hey, things are OK" kind of way. I suppose it's like a slow burn compared to a firework. I'm much more relaxed about it, rather than all the frantic tension I felt before.

Anyway I'll be checking in more as time goes by.

Date: 2008-03-07 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kanmude.livejournal.com
I've found it's super hard to not having another person to help keep you going (all my support is in NC) so...




Date: 2008-03-07 03:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janxangel.livejournal.com
I joined a weight loss support community here on LJ this morning too.

Thank you for your cheering though, it's always better when it's a friend! :)

Date: 2008-03-07 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinz-clortho.livejournal.com
I have a new phone, but all the numbers I have didn't survive the transition. Call me when you have a chance!

Date: 2008-03-07 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] violetgerald.livejournal.com
The first few months will be the hardest until your body adjusts to things like eating fewer calories. I've been 'dieting' since middle of January and I've only lost 3 lbs, and the biggest reason for that was my body freaking out over going anywhere from 5-10k calories a day to much less. Now I can have 1200 in a day and feel completely fine, though I wouldn't recommend anything less for obvious reasons.

I feel you in the support department tho as well. Everyone tells me I am stupid for dieting, even if the doc demands it. My boyfriend tells me he's proud of me but will have chips and dip in front of me. It's hard to give them all the finger, and sometimes I want to quit because it feels like no one cares.

I've debated making a separate weight-loss journal. I'm a member of quite a few communities on dieting, especially check out dietingsupport as it's not pro-eatingdisorder and is really active.

Whoo! We can do it girl.

Date: 2008-03-10 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] janxangel.livejournal.com
Yeah I've been sure to steer clear of the pro-ED communities. I've read some of their stuff and *wow*... I'm sure it's harder for you not getting support from others around you. Everyone in my house is cheering for me, even with their burgers in hand. Although they DID go down to the gym yesterday, so maybe I'm being a good influence.

I've debated starting a separate journal too, but I figured this is me. So this is where it is. I'm a whole person, not just my angst or my happiness or my eating habits.



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